


tell me if i do

by cyclothimic



Series: Quake [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, F/F, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Infidelity (implied), Romance, Skye | Daisy Johnson-centric, Trouble In Paradise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyclothimic/pseuds/cyclothimic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We'll get him back," Jemma whispered, almost torn and hurt. "Will," she choked, probably finding it hard to swallow, "we'll get him back."</p><p>Daisy stared at her for real for the first time in so many days. And then she realized for the first time that there were different emotions struggling with each other in Jemma's eyes; an array of doubt, fear, reassurance, relief, jealousy and adoration. Daisy clenched her jaw. This was one of the many reasons she didn't want Jemma to find out anything about her experience on Maveth.</p><p>It would hurt everyone too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me if i do

**Author's Note:**

> i know it's been a long time but writer's block's a bitch. but it's here now! so...forgive me?

_Tell me if I'm wrong,_

_Tell me if I'm right,_

_Tell if you need a loving hand,_

_To help you fall asleep tonight._

_-Cold Coffee, Ed Sheeran_

* * *

She had been avoiding her girlfriend. She totally admitted that. Daisy had been trapped in _that_ world for a total of six months and she came back and everything was _so_ different.

Bobbi was out of her lab coat and back in the field again. There was a Joey who was gay, not that she minded. But she did wonder how they managed to recruit him. Fitz somehow managed to romance Venus with his nerdy knowledge – yeah, she didn't know until she ran into them making out on the couch in the middle of the night. May came back; Andrew was a vengeful Inhuman. Coulson and that lady from ATCU were suddenly chummy – more than chummy, from what she had observed.

So yeah, a lot had changed. Daisy _definitely_ had changed so one would think she could easily adapt to it. But the fact of the matter was that because everything had been so foreign and different on that other planet of which she still didn't know the name of, she expected to come home to familiarity only to be confronted with such major transformations.

Daisy simply needed time to adjust after the first thing she told them to do was to call her _Daisy_ , because believe her, she'd realized a lot of things when she was over there. She would stare at her hands and remember the number of times Will had taken them to help her. She would stare at her legs and remember the way their legs tangled together on the bed, when she thought she would never make it back. She would stare at herself in the mirror and let the guilt and longing tear her apart, because those lips had touched someone's other than Jemma's and those eyes had looked at someone else other than Jemma.

She had been back for a week and she had no idea how to proceed. She didn't know how to face the woman who was supposed to be her _girlfriend_. She didn't know how to interact with her Inhuman family without breaking down because they had seen so many things but they definitely _hadn't_ seen the things she saw when she was on the other side. She jumped when she heard gunshots ringing out in the shooting range.

Everybody was tentative around her after she exploded two days after her return, yelling at them just because they still couldn't get used to calling her Daisy instead of Skye. They might have, at that point, realized that the Daisy that came back wasn't the Skye that sacrificed herself for the woman she loved with her whole heart.

Oh, she still loved Jemma. Too much, she had grimaced. Jemma was most definitely her one true love. But then she went over and there was Will, who had helped her and had been by her side when she had lost all hope of going home because her scientific knowledge only went so far.

She had to bring him back, if not for the sake of their time together then for the sake of him having helped her in surviving for the last six months.

"What are you doing?"

Her head jerked upwards, seeing Jemma at the entrance to the lab. Daisy's fingers flinched back from the keyboard and she glanced away. She'd been spending the last four days staring at all kinds of astronomical data she could gather, reading up on extensive encyclopedias about the galaxy and coming up with the randomest of algorithms by sneaking up into the lab in the middle of the night when she was sure everyone was sleeping.

Jemma strode towards her; Daisy tried to hide that she actually scooted away from her, but as she saw the way hurt flashed past Jemma's eyes, she wasn't very subtle. The biochemist picked up a book and one of the papers strewn across the desk, and then studied the data running on the computer screen, before staring back down at Daisy with a perplexed look on her face.

"These are…" Jemma drifted off. She put them down and stared down at her. "Daisy, what are you doing looking at these?"

Daisy stood up abruptly, the stool clattering behind her. She moved away from Jemma by a wide margin and cleared her throat. "Nothing," she mumbled.

"You're lying."

Daisy blinked rapidly and took a deep breath. "It's nothing. Goodnight, Simmons." It was only when she was walking down the hallway to her room that she realized what she called Jemma.

"Okay, I've had _enough_!" She started at the loud British accent from her door and saw Jemma fuming. Jemma stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

"Jemma, I can't –"

"Shut up," Jemma commanded, her voice firm and dominating. "Just shut up." So Daisy closed her mouth. They stared at each other, Jemma huffing and frustrated but not angry, Daisy was just waiting. And then Jemma softened and she took another step. "Please talk to me, Daisy."

"I – " Daisy closed her mouth abruptly and clenched her jaw, tightening every inch of her muscles as she distinctively recall every inch of her exploration on the planet and the countless times she had nearly lost her life trying to get home to the woman in front of her. "I can't."

She winced and pulled away when the other woman sat down beside her on the bed and attempted to take her hand. Her heart clinched when she heard Jemma's trodden sigh but she stared at her hands and they were just…She couldn't. "What did you see back there, Daisy?"

What did she see? She saw a monster – a faceless vampiric monster who never failed to come at the smell of coppery red. She saw a wasteland where she hadn't gotten to see even a peep of the sun for six months, except for that one time when she the rare sunrise happened and there was an open portal but she couldn't get to it. She saw dead bodies, dead astronauts' bodies. She saw a man – _met_ a man – and became more than friends with him in the course of six months.

"I need to go back there," she whispered to herself, pained and suffering.

* * *

Fitz looked doubtful and a little hateful when he approached her in the kitchen. Yeah, no one really approached her anymore. She stopped stirring her coffee and stared down at the dark liquid staring up at her, and then she considered the sugar cubes sitting there in the smack dab in the middle of the counter.

"You used to hate your coffee black," he opined, leaning against the counter and eying her carefully.

She cleared her throat, still not looking at him. "I used to sleep with Jemma too," she said bitterly and forwent the sugar cubes, just sipping from the cup of black, bitter coffee. Tasted perfect. Her voice came out low and almost inaudible, that had been happening since she came back.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see him clenching his jaw at her careless remark. She had said it as if his best friend was just a toy she was playing with but probably because he knew her better that she still found herself unscathed at this second. But considering that she practically cheated on her, she wouldn't stop Fitz if he wanted to give her a right uppercut.

But no fists came at her face, only his hand sliding her phone across the counter surface until it stopped next to her coffee cup. She frowned at it, confused for a second, before she remembered the content in it and Fitz's capabilities which were almost on par with hers. She looked up at him, alarmed and wary.

He didn't look guilty, only pitiful. He must have seen everything. "Jemma was worried." _They_ must have seen everything.

She firmly locked her jaws together, her mouth pressed into a thin angry line. She gripped her phone, careful to not quake it to pieces. She pressed a button to see the screen lighting up – Fitz had charged it for her.

"His name's Will, right?" She glanced up in surprise. "It's sewn on his jacket." She sighed. "Jemma wanted me to tell you that we'll help you look for him. All of us: Jemma, the Inhumans, me, Bobbi, Mack, even Hunter; we'll help you."

"Where is she?" she queried, noticing the biochemist's absence.

Fitz's lips tipped at the edge into an emphatic smile. "She needs some air."

She nodded, comprehension filling her. She took a deep breath. The Skye six months ago would have hugged him and tell him a million thank yous. But the Daisy now, all she could do was make sure to make eye contact with him for more than five seconds before taking her phone and coffee with her as she headed down to her corner to continue dwelling on her laptop until the next mission.

* * *

"This is an intervention."

Daisy stopped short, shy of the common area, where the Inhumans were all gathered. They were all there, including the new guy whom she hadn't had a chance to get to know more because she was too busy moping. She stared stricken at the people in the room before she turned around to get out.

But Lincoln was too fast and he managed to grab her wrist and swing her back in the room before barricading the exit with his body. She curled her fingers into a tight fist and gritted her teeth. She shot him daggers with her eyes, knowing he would get the hint.

His eyes flitted towards her right fist before meeting hers again. "Go ahead. Do your thing," he challenged, brows rose daringly.

Raina came up behind her while she was still glaring daggers into her friend. "Come on, Daisy. Just sit down."

She reluctantly turned and let Raina drag her to an empty chair. As she sat down, she realized this was more like a sobriety meeting, with her being the only one who needed the treatment. She leaned back against the chairback and stared at her teammates with a bored look.

"I don't need an intervention," she claimed.

Phyllis and Lincoln exchanged an unreadable look before Phyllis turned back to her with a friendly smile. "Daisy, meet Joey," she introduced, gesturing at the aforementioned guy.

Daisy didn't pay him even a peep. "I know who he is."

"Oh really? Because you've been back for almost two weeks and you act as if he doesn't exist," Phyllis taunted with an exaggerated fake smile.

"I have more important stuff to do."

"Like getting back to that place?"

Daisy wasn't even surprised anymore. After all, Fitz had said that he and Jemma had gathered almost everyone's hands to help her in this.

"You got us here, Daisy. If it wasn't for you practically begging us, we would have stayed at that warehouse and led our quiet lives. We wouldn't be here, participating in your little Secret Warriors project." Phyllis paused for breath. "When you were gone, I was the one leading this group. But now you're back, I'm giving you back the position. You're in charge, Daisy. And we are here to listen; we are here to help; we are here because we know you wouldn't be able to pull this off alone."

"What she means is that you don't have to isolate yourself; you don't have to pull away from us."

Daisy stared at Lincoln, and then at his girlfriend. She looked at the way he leaned into her direction like there was a magnet pulling his south to her north. She and Jemma used to be like that. She then closed her eyes, keeling forward in slow motion until she was bent 45 degree and her face was buried in her hands.

She wished they would stop. She never wanted any of these. She just wanted to do this on her own. She couldn't rely on them. She _wouldn't_. It was too dangerous and risky and she _especially_ couldn't risk her human friends again – and a girlfriend, whom she wasn't even sure was still her girlfriend anymore – because if Jemma was correct, then it would mean that humans wouldn't be able to see anything if they suckered in by the Monolith. They would only be shrouded by darkness and nightmares.

She couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk them. She couldn't risk _her._ She was just so tired.

* * *

The planet was Maveth. It was a planet light years away from Earth and apparently, Monolith was the only transport discovered at the moment to be able to send them over, unless they could come up with an X-Wing. It was home to an advanced civilization until a ruthless Inhuman made its way there and create extinction upon the planet.

"That's too little," Daisy said as she read the information.

"It's all we could find in the Inhuman archives," Jemma stated, standing next to her and making Daisy's hair stand.

She resisted slamming the papers or even tearing them apart. She tamped down her frustrations and attempted a calm composure as she faced the people who were trying to help her. "It's too little."

"Uncle Po's diving into different libraries right now, not just the Inhuman ones. We'll find something," Raina said.

Daisy nodded, running her hand over face and leaving it pressed to her lips as she stared down at the floating words on the pages Jemma had handed her just now. She barely suppressed her startled reaction when a hand clamped down on her shoulders gently. She looked up to see Jemma staring at her with concern and forced reassurance.

"We'll get him back," Jemma whispered, almost torn and hurt. "Will," she choked, probably finding it hard to swallow, "we'll get him back."

Daisy stared at her for real for the first time in so many days. And then she realized for the first time that there were different emotions struggling with each other in Jemma's eyes; an array of doubt, fear, reassurance, relief, jealousy and adoration. Daisy clenched her jaw. This was one of the many reasons she didn't want Jemma to find out anything about her experience on Maveth.

It would hurt everyone too much.

* * *

This was the first time she'd spent a day alone in a room with Jemma. Although, it wasn't as enlightening as she thought it would be, considering Jemma had her selfie with Will splashed across the monitor screen. Daisy felt queasy, the fact that Jemma was seeing this – proof of her disloyalty – made her very uncomfortable.

"He's very handsome," Jemma observed. She was trying to sound light and glad, like nothing happened between them, like the fact that Daisy touching another man and doing things with another man wasn't a big deal.

Daisy hummed in response, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. When she first met Will, he had her trapped in makeshift cage so forgive her if she thought he looked like hulking ugly bear instead of a decent human being. But honestly, considering the way Daisy and Jemma always danced together, maybe they weren't so perfect for each other at all and give it a rest.

Jemma was quiet then. Daisy expected her to flip to the next picture – possibly another of her and Will – but no, she just stared at them on screen, grinning and happy, if you would even believe it.

"What are you doing?" Daisy couldn't help herself anymore.

Jemma stiffened in her chair visibly, keeping her back to Daisy. She cleared her throat and removed her fingers from the mouse, supporting her forehead as she propped her arm on the chair. "I researched him. Will Daniels, NASA, astronaut…I researched him." Jemma sighed. "I guess I wanted to find dirt on him, something _imperfect_ about him but…aside from a few parking tickets and a drinking while driving record, he's clean." Daisy pended. "He's practically perfect."

"Aside from mediocre parking," Daisy muttered.

Jemma heaved a laugh, a strained laugh. She nodded and stood up, slowly turning around to face Daisy. "Yeah." Daisy could see a film of wet sheet over Jemma's eyes before the woman quickly look away. "I understand why you fell for him."

"I didn't…" Daisy paused. Was that what it was? Jemma frowned slightly, disappointed. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," Daisy said instead.

"No, no, I have to."

"Jemma –"

"He kept you alive for me! Well, not for me, obviously, because he doesn't even know me but he helped you to survive over there for so long that you can come back. That's a lot and I…I need to do at least this!"

"What I feel for him and what I feel for you are completely different."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" Daisy yelled, finally exploding. She was huffing when Jemma glared back at her, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Daisy didn't want anything more than to grab her face and wipe them away. "Will was _conveniently_ there to help me! _You_ were willing to risk your life to save me! You were willing to get to another _planet_ to get me out!"

"I heard him, okay? I know –"

Daisy grunted and lunged forward, planting her lips on Jemma as her arms wrapped around the biochemist. She pushed back until Jemma was sitting on the table, swiping the books away, and she kissed Jemma with such ardor. God, kissing Jemma was so…alternative and so peculiar and she had missed kissing Jemma so much.

When she finally pulled back, Jemma was still crying and her face was twisted into the most desperate grimace. Maybe she felt it too. Daisy rested her forehead against Jemma's, allowing her own waterworks to flow.

"I think we're somehow cursed," Daisy whispered.

"Maybe we are."

* * *

Ram's head. She was almost officially done with this shit. Hydra was honestly getting a little too much bullshit on their symbolism and vendetta. Of course the most ridiculous symbol would their one most crucial hint after so long: a fucking ram's head.

Rosalind died, shot right in the head by none other than Grant Ward. Mack became Director because Coulson was too overcome by grief and vengeance and apparently they made him stupid too because _seriously_ , May was obviously the better choice; the _best_ choice.

Also, she couldn't really talk to Jemma because Grant Ward, the ultimate asshole that he was, had to kidnap her two best friends since she was first arrested in her van by Coulson. Grant Ward knew that they knew things and his brains were mush compared to theirs and Jemma was her Kryptonite. Grant Ward was a scum.

Daisy was wrought with despair and worry and pure anger when she found the taunting message from Ward, sitting in her inbox like a seething poison waiting to suck the good out of her. She didn't have a chance to have a proper talk with Jemma, or hold her or simply look at her and he had to go and take that away from her. Daisy had lost Jemma once, and as conflicted as she was about her supposed decisions right now, this was not one of them.

There was never a choice when it came to Jemma Simmons.

* * *

 _Stupid, stupid, fucking Phillip Coulson_ , she cursed in a tirade – more like a chant – mentally as she suited up with the rest of the Secret Warriors.

They'd immediately spring into action upon hearing Bobbi and Hunter over the comms that Coulson had quite literally leaped off the plane to join Ward. Lucky for them – well, as much luck as they could scrape up at this point – the center of it all would be where Jemma and Fitz were located.

She could not stop cursing Coulson for being so stubbornly insane and worrying over Jemma's welfare during the swift ride over with May pumping the Quinjet up into full force. They split into two different teams once they'd landed.

When Joey expressed confusion over what their real mission was – the rescue of Coulson and Fitz, the freeing of Jemma, the conquest of Hydra or the freedom of the contained Inhumans – Daisy just looked him dead in the eyes for the first time.

"All of them," she whispered.

It wasn't easy, to plow their way through Hydra soldiers and a telekinetic Inhuman, but they did, meeting up in a central room where she recognized fragments of Monolith in a hole and that they really didn't have much time left if they wanted to get out of here alive. But honestly, selfish as she was, she was more relieved that Jemma was in the room with them, albeit carrying some bruises and cuts on her.

Daisy lunged towards her, forgetting about their arguments and the thick wall between them, only wrapping her arms around the woman and breathe her in. She could smell the faint coppery tang of Jemma's blood against her skin and the hideous aftershave of Ward, but she just…Jemma was _here_.

"I'm here. I'm here. I'm here," Jemma chanted faintly into her neck as she wrapped her own arms around Daisy.

Daisy choked through her own emotions and pressed a hard kiss to Jemma's temple before leaning back. "We have to talk," she muttered.

Jemma nodded frantically in agreement. "We will. After this is over, we will."

"Get everyone through the tunnel and back up to Zephyr One," Mack ordered after a long moment of contemplation and a heated debate between Lincoln and Bobbi and Hunter. "I'm going to stay here until the last possible second for Coulson, Fitz and Will."

"Wait, Will?" Daisy questioned in mild disbelief.

Jemma's hold on her hand tightened. "Fitz told me that he would try to bring your friend back."

"If Hydra or that alien thing comes up here, I'd like this castle uncompounded with every missile on that plane."

"I'm staying with you," Daisy responded, drawing everyone's gaze on her. She could feel the waves of relent and expectation from the woman next to her. Jemma wasn't going to stop her because she knew Daisy wouldn't do it.

"What part of 'that's an order' did you not understand? Coulson put me in charge to make the hard call and that's what I'm doing. We can't afford to lose agents in one fell swoop! Not here, not tonight!"

Daisy didn't even flinch under his glare and his loud voice. She'd worked with him too much since she returned and Coulson decided to partner them up for whatever stupid reason to be scared of teddy bear's loud voice. "I'm staying with you," she enunciated slowly, meeting his steady gaze. "I can hold this portal open – I know how to do it. And I'm your _partner_."

Mack may have hated her from the start. Well, he didn't hate her, he was wary of her, because he was wary of Coulson and she was close to Coulson. And then her Inhuman abilities were activated and he was scared, because she was foreign and practically an 084. She couldn't blame him for something she might have done herself their positions were turned around. But over the past month and more, she'd started to get friendly with him and he even let her play video games console with him in the common room.

Alphonso Mackenzie was more than brawns; he was her friend and she would be damned if she let him go down alone, even if it meant she go down with him.

When the ground shook and more debris fell over their heads, Mack yelled, "Everybody, get the hell out of here!"

"Don't stand me up on that talk, okay?" Jemma whispered with worry in her eyes, her fingers tugging on Daisy's.

Daisy mustered a smile and held Jemma's cheek. "I wouldn't dare." She kissed Jemma on her forehead before pushing her to follow her teammates.

She had to stay alive, because she had something to come home to. She had to.

* * *

"I could get used to this," she murmured sleepily, opening her eyes to Jemma watching her from her bedside. "This is nice."

Jemma smiled and held Daisy's hand to her cheek. "Welcome back."

Passing out was not the least bit fun. She'd used up a little too much to keep the portal open for Fitz and Coulson that she collapsed immediately when they appeared. Mack had to carry her to the pod and place her on the bed. She couldn't help but see there was one person missing, one person that Fitz had attempted to bring back.

She was on the verge of passing out when he sat down next to her and told her everything; the mangled bone, the manipulation, the hull that was Will but wasn't.

"Daisy, I am so sorry," Jemma whispered breathily.

Daisy allowed two drops of tears to escape before she sniffed and licked her lips. If Will wasn't Will anymore, then there really wasn't any point to bringing him back. Besides, "I remember our impending talk."

Jemma laughed. "We have time." She reached out to brush strands of hair from falling into Daisy's eyes. "Now, you just have to rest."

It felt real good to be able to sleep without nightmares strangling every bit of her slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> yay? or nay? it's a little messy i know


End file.
